My Mental Fuel

While many fall in love with the captivating chorus, the elegant instrumental, or the unique vocals of the singer in a song, when I listen to music, the inspiring, relatable lyrics of a track penetrate through my ears and into the depths of my heart. Whether it’s blasting tunes out of a speaker next to a pool on a summer’s day, or hearing whispers through my now ear-muffling headphones on a winter’s night as the sound of my grinding teeth assault my eardrums, wherever I go, the lyrics personify my emotions and state of mind.

Waiting in the in-field of a track for the officials to announce the Boys 800m, or sitting in my locker stall as the Head Coach prepares his pre-game team talk, I always have a playlist primed for when I slide on the rigid, plastic headphones onto my head’s apex. Polo G, Lil Durk, Dave, Lil Baby, Stormzy, Meek Mill, Fivio Foreign, and Polo G again. Though some may refer to these artists as mainstream Hip-Hop, their words voiced and echoed in their art fuel me in competition.

Growing up as the shortest, scrawniest player on the field or runner on the track, I was always overlooked by others. A pattern I noticed from my teammates, coaches, and the opposition was their initial underestimation of me due to my underwhelming physique before witnessing my ability and what my talent brought to the table. As a result of this unwarranted perception of my athletic ability, at every practice, scrimmage, meet, or game, I exerted 110% of my efforts to prove myself worthy and switch the tides of their thoughts on my skills, my drive, my game. Whether it was committing a slide tackle on the burning hot turf to stop an opposition counter-attack, or challenging the leader of the race at the 500 mark in the 800m, I eventually gained the reputation of being a scrappy, aggressive competitor.

"He’s someone you’d love to have on your team, but someone you’d hate competing against” was a label that stuck with me. It was fitting. All my late-night trips to the gym, early morning runs, and weekends I passed on partying were materializing into the creation of the competitor I aspired to be.

Therefore, these songs that I queue up before games and meets always have words that remind me of my journey and what helped me become successful in the past. With the same short, scrawny appearance years later, I still hold the objective to prove myself as more than what my physique suggests. Like in Polo G’s “Distraction,” no matter “How hard I [work], they[’ll] still discredit my talent” because of my stature, and hence, I make it my goal that they “regret” their underestimation of my ability. Furthermore, reminding myself of the trials and tribulations that I endured to have glimpses of success, hearing Meek Mill sing, “I had to grind like this to shine like this,” I force myself to summon the ruthless attitudes that helped me reach previous success.

Music is my mental fuel. Summoning the aggressive competitor within me, helping me recall past sporting experiences, music never fails to focus my thoughts on the goal at hand and make me the sporting gladiator I have become.